The Black Republican

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. That goes for Texas, Utah, and even in Florida.

The former vice president, who came agonizingly close to winning the presidency two years ago, said Sunday he will not run again in two years, and probably will not have another opportunity to seek the White House.

"I don't think it's the right thing for me to do," Gore said. He said a rematch with President Bush "would inevitably involve a focus on the past that would in some measure distract from the focus on the future that I think all campaigns have to be about."

One might then come to the conclusion that the ranks of hopeful Democratic Presidential candidates has thinned, but it isn't so... Mark Steyn writes on OpinionJournal.com under the subtitle, "John Kerry was in Vietnam. And boy, that's some haircut!" This gives a whole new meaning to "Puff Piece".

John Kerry's hairdresser continues to make waves in Washington. The news that the Massachusetts senator, Democratic presidential candidate, Vietnam veteran, Big Ketchup spouse, Vietnam veteran, amateur guitarist, Vietnam veteran and Vietnam veteran gets a $75 coiffure from Cristophe has riveted the Beltway and distracted from his message. ("As a Vietnam veteran, I know what it's like to wake up in a jungle full of terrifying bangs." "So it was tough finding a good salon over there?")

To be honest, it's not entirely obvious where the 75 bucks goes. I mean, I haven't seen the back of his head in awhile, so it's possible he has an attractively angled nape. Otherwise, the most likely explanation is that it's 15 bucks for the stuff on top but he pays $30 per eyebrow for some Ann Miller industrial-strength lacquer that freezes them into that permanently furrowed look.

For a politician as perpetually concerned as Sen. Kerry, this is money well spent. Come the New Hampshire primary, when the candidates are doing their grip-and-grins high atop Mount Washington, Al Gore will be howling in agony as the 200-mile-an-hour winds rip the chest hair out of his low-cut olive polo shirt and scatter it like confetti over gay weddings in neighboring Vermont, but Mr. Kerry's furrowed brow will be as attractively immobile as ever. The Kerry candidacy is such an obvious disaster waiting to happen that it seems a shame to wait for it to happen.

With everything going on, the Democrats should be able find a better possibility than this. Hmmmn... I hear Trent Lott is looking for work....