I used to have a detailed email response I'd send to people who forwarded email nonsense to me that I was able to debunk with the assistance of Snopes and other sources. (The content of the template I used can be found in the extended entry below.)
Unfortunately, it didn't always work. Some people are just shameless in their ability to believe the blather they read on the internet (especially in email, because they trust their friends), and no matter how many times I've responded with this template, these individuals continue to send me this junk without checking up on it first. Checking what you're forwarding before you click "Send" is not only courteous, it's also exercising restraint required by the Eighth Commandment.
I've decided that from now on, when I'm forced to respond in detail to one of these inane chain letters, I'm going to use the blog to respond - so that I always have a record of what I have to say in that particular case, and maybe to further shame those friends and relatives who continue to engage in forwarding lies and falsehoods.
Sorry I have to do this to you people, but I'm going to get you to learn one way or another.
The first installment of this series appears in the next entry.
I stopped using this template mainly because it was some of the content is rather dated, and I didn't think it was worth my time updating it (again). (For example, I now use Gmail instead of Pegasus.) Feel free to steal it for yourself, or just link to this entry.
Hi all!
I just love these emails! They always give me a good opportunity to refine my not-quite-patented "anti-spam" letter. :-)
For those who have not yet learned, the Internet is a hotbed of activity for the hustler, the con, and the prankster. The unsavory of every sort just LOVE to prey on the dim and gullible among us. To combat them, some of us who are a little more experienced in these matters have taken it upon ourselves to illuminate and educate anyone who happily informs us that they are so naive.
Inserted below is a personal message from me, providing the specific reason why your particular email was so annoying:
---INSERTED COMMENTS HERE---
(This spam e-mail is more generally explained in item # -- below!)
A copy of this EXACT email is found at the HoaxBusters site:
http://hoaxbusters.ciac.org
For those who don't convince easily, I've accumulated the following facts:
---END COMMENTS HERE---
For your continued education, I have attached another message below. I blatantly stole this from whomever it was who was kind enough to forward it to the people who sent it to me. :-) I got rid of all the " " or >> that began each line, and edited item #12 so as to reflect my own political slant. ;-)
Now... the next time any of my friends, relatives, or online "buddies" sends me the sort of spam discussed here, they're going to get this back. Fair warning.
Chris aka "Opusaug"
PS: I'll bet any amount that SOMEONE will see this and start the rumor that it's a trick of the devil - 'cause there are 13 items on the list. (sheesh!)
==
Email rules to live by:
Think about it . . .
1. Big companies don't do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks. MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the most people. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true". Furthermore, just because someone said in the message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit", does not actually make it true.
See the U.S. Department of Energy, Computer Incident Adivsory Capability site that deals with Internet Chain Letters:
http://HoaxBusters.ciac.org/
The San Fernando Valley Folklore Society also maintains a comprehensive archive of urban legends:
http://www.snopes.com/
2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, please see:
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
also see:
http://HoaxBusters.ciac.org/HBUrbanMyths.shtml#kidney
And I quote:
"The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories." None have. That's "none" as in "zero". Not even your friend's cousin.
3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at:
http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html
Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on (without the fake story please).
4. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?
5. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it through an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses.
The F-Secure Corporation:
http://www.f-secure.com/virus-info/hoax/
The Symantic Anti-Virus Research Center:
http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/hoax.html
The McAfee Virus Information Library at:
http://vil.mcafee.com/hoax.asp
And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to download it....ya know, like, a FILE!
[Edit: Since this was written, some virus writers have invented a neat way to deliver something *like* a virus in an email, that doesn't require downloading. These special virii are called "worms". Neat thing about worms is they only work on some very slick email clients with huge security holes in them, most especially Microsoft Outlook. I personally recommend Pegasus: http://www.pmail.com]
6. If your cc: list is regularly longer than the actual content of your message, you probably already have it stored in your old 8088, Franklin, or Adam computer.
7. If you're using Outlook, I.E., or Netscape to write email, please turn off the "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
[Edit: See #5 above. If you absolutely MUST use Outlook, please check the Microsoft website to learn how to turn off VB scripting. In this case, I won't give you a link - Bill Gates is a twerp and a thief.]
8. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the " " or << that begin each line. Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've probably already seen it anyway.
Wouldn't you rather impress everyone by letting them think that it is your original thought? (Unless of course they know you better). Instead of just hitting the "Forward" button, copy and paste into a new message. [Hint: Go to the beginning of the message (), then press ; ; . Go to the body of the new message and press . There now, wasn't that easy?
9. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either.
10. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they do.
11. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that promises "something bad will happen if you don't", too late...you're a lost cause already!
12. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, but forwarding an e-mail won't help their cause in the least. If you want to help, contact the Red Cross.
http://www.icrc.org/
[Edit: Yes, this was written before 9/11/2001. And now we know why those poor women were suffering at the hands of those thieving murderous butchers. Good news is, the women are doing much better now, thanks to Donald Rumsfeld and a few of his close, personal friends.]
There is no bill pending before Congress to tax e-mails or that will allow long distance companies to charge you for long distance when using the Internet. Don't worry about people trying to help PBS and NEA get more funding, they aren't going to get anything more from our paychecks that way. If you get emails claiming that someone is trying to pass a bill in Congress to do something dumb, and you truly feel animated about it, why not become an informed voter and read the bill to find out exactly what Congress is doing. Congress is fully wired through a system called THOMAS to provide you with TONS of information about what they're doing (or not doing, as the case may be...).
http://thomas.loc.gov/
As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with any power to do anything about it (whatever "it" is), so forwarding emails such as these is normally irrelevant.
13. The CEO Proctor & Gamble has NEVER been a guest on any of the TV talk shows to proclaim P&G's allegiance to Satan...even Sally Jesse's. See for yourself at:
http://www.sallyjr.com/sally4/frm_sallyfaq3.html
All the disclaimers to this fact are posted on the various shows web sites. This is one of the longest running hoaxes anywhere..way before email was ever known by most people. For a complete list of the info, ref:
http://www.pg.com/about_pg/overview_facts/trademark_facts.jhtml
P&G is NOT a satanic organization, although I'm sure Satan sure is smiling over all the prolific emails that says it is and probably says thanks to all the 'lost souls' who pass this garbage on!
---
If you still don't get it, click this link:
http://bjcweb.com/may02-smilepop-soapbox2.swf
Bottom Line... composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is as easy as writing on the walls of a public restroom. Don't automatically believe it until it's proven false...ASSUME it's false, unless there is proof that it's true.
Got it?
Good!
Enjoy this wonderful 'tool' we have available to us and use it wisely, please think before clicking!
Now, forward this message to ten friends and you will win the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes....I SWEAR!!!
Just kidding...!!!!!